Blog | Subscribe | Free Trial | Contact Us | Cart | Donate | Planned Giving
Log In | Search
facebook
rss
twitter
  • CURRENT
    • Winter 2025 PDF
    • WINTER 2025 HTML
    • THE HUMAN LIFE REVIEW HTML COLLECTION PAGE
    • NEWSworthy: What’s Happening and What It Means to You
    • Blog
    • Pastoral Reflections
    • About Us
  • DINNER
    • GREAT DEFENDER OF LIFE DINNER 2024: NEW MEDIA ADDED!
    • Great Defender of Life 50th Anniversary Dinner Ticket 2024
    • Great Defender of Life 50th Anniversary Dinner TABLE for TEN Ticket 2024
    • Great Defender of Life 2024 Young Adult / Pregnancy Center Staffer Tickets
    • HOST COMMITTEE Great Defender of Life Dinner 2024
    • DINNER JOURNAL ADVERTISING 2024
    • ARCHIVE: GREAT DEFENDER OF LIFE DINNER 2023
  • ARCHIVE
    • Archive Spotlight
    • ISSUES IN HTML FORMAT
  • LEGACY
    • Planned Giving: Wills, Trusts, and Gifts of Stock
  • SHOP
    • Your Cart: Shipping is ALWAYS Free!

BLOG

0 Comment

Blaming the Victim

Maria McFadden Maffucci
Print Friendly, PDF & Email

The story of an abortion survivor is one “that could not be heard, and therefore must not be told.” This was the lesson learned by then-college freshman Melissa Ohden who, in a discussion with new friends about “every kind of abuse, abandonment and human heartache,” found that confiding she was the surviving victim of legal abortion produced an “icy chill” from her listeners. “Abortion on demand was the holy grail of the feminist ideology my classmates adhered to; anything that challenged its essential rightness must be suppressed.”

Ohden, founder of the Abortion Survivors Network (theabortionsurvivors.com) and a popular pro-life speaker (melissaohden.com), includes this observation in her recent book, You Carried Me: A Daughter’s Memoir (Plough Publishing House, $19.99, www.plough.com). She knew she was adopted as far back as she could remember, she writes, in the positive context of being “doubly loved, by the parents who had chosen me as their own and by a mother who had given birth to me and entrusted me to their care.” But when Ohden was 14, a family crisis forced her parents to reveal that the premature, gravely ill baby they had adopted and nursed to health was the tiny survivor of an unsuccessful abortion. The news left her reeling: “In my mind I understood why my parents had not told me the truth—how could a child be expected to understand something like that?​ But in my heart I felt a deep sense of betrayal. I had been deceived about my own identity . . . the people who had conceived me had also tried to destroy me.” Devastated, Ohden turned to an “unholy trinity of coping mechanisms—bulimia, alcohol and sex.” Forthcoming with her story at first, she soon found it isolated her from her peers, many of whom were making their own reproductive decisions and didn’t want to deal with the harsh reality connected to Ohden’s birth story.

Melissa Ohden’s story could have ended there, in tragedy. Instead, as she neared college age, she pulled away from her destructive behaviors by turning to the things that attracted her most: literature, especially poetry; her Christian faith, which she returned to with anguished fervor; and helping others—she started tutoring disadvantaged children (and would later go into social work). One day she happened to see on television Gianna Jensen—a 14-year-old abortion survivor herself, whose remarkable words gave Ohden new hope for healing: “It’s not that I’m mad at my birth mother at all. I forgive her totally for what she did . . . This is what God has given me, I don’t feel bad about it. I’m just happy.”

Fortunately for the pro-life movement, Ohden was ultimately spurred to action by the hypocrisy of those whose ideology had led to her near-slaughter. As a master’s student in psychology, assigned to write about a “pivotal” moment in her life, she wrote about how the discovery of the truth surrounding her birth had affected her. She earned an A for her “technical analysis,” but the professor’s comments in the margins were “harsh,” including this one: “This must be a lie. Why would your parents tell you such an awful thing?” Ohden was “floored. I’d been silenced again—this time not by my peers but by a professional, someone esteemed in his field.” But then she saw, with “startling clarity,” that she could either acquiesce in the silencing or force people to “face the contradiction that my existence posed to their ideology.”

Ironically, it was her naiveté about Planned Parenthood that shocked her into joining the pro-life movement. As a newly married woman, Ohden regularly went to a Planned Parenthood facility for contraception. She recalls how “mortified” she was to find out, when she was approached by a man praying outside the clinic, that Planned Parenthood did abortions. As he tried to warn her, she blurted out: “I know about abortion . . . my birth mother aborted me and I lived.” The man was amazed. “You should be here,” he told her, pointing to the people praying on the sidewalk, “not there!”

“You should be here, not there” pulsed through my pounding heart as I drove home. Beneath my wounded pride was a more deeply wounded heart. I felt stupid for not knowing Planned Parenthood did abortions. I felt guilty for giving my money to an organization that performs them. And I felt challenged by the words of a man who gave his time to try to save lives like mine. I should be there.

            You Carried Me chronicles Ohden’s increasing involvement in pro-life activism as well as her years-long search for her birth parents. She perseveres through wrenching setbacks, such as finding the identity of her birth father only to hear of his death before she had a chance to meet him. She experiences the grief of pregnancy loss when she miscarries her second baby and only son (she and her husband Ryan have two girls). But her long search for her birth mother finally culminates in 2016, with a startling and unexpected twist. And much to the reader’s satisfaction, Ohden is surprised by deep joy after her arduous journey.

You Carried Me was released in January 2017, the same month the virulently pro-abortion Women’s March on Washington urged the public to “Hear Our Voices.” It’s safe to say that Ohden’s voice is not one the March’s organizers want to hear. But while the millions of victims of “successful abortions” are voiceless, Ohden speaks up to save lives—starting with her own! The medical records she obtained indicate that a nurse heard “a spontaneous weak cry” from the baby supposed to be dead; she went against the abortionist’s orders and removed the child to neonatal intensive care. A victim cried out; and though many still respond to Ohden with an icy chill on learning that she is one of only a few human beings who knows what it feels like to be a victim of abortion, she will not be silenced.

 

 

276 people have visited this page. 1 have visited this page today.
About the Author
Maria McFadden Maffucci

DSC_2711is the Editor in Chief of the Human Life Review

Social Share

  • google-share

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Comments will not be posted until approved by a moderator in an effort to prevent spam and off-topic responses.

*
*

captcha *

Get the Human Life Review

subscribe to HLR
The-Human-Life-Foundation
DONATE TODAY!

Recent Posts

RFK Jr, Autism, Eugenics--and Pro-Life Silence?

09 May 2025

IVF: The Frozen Sleep Evading Time

07 May 2025

Report: "The Abortion Pill Harms Women"

05 May 2025

CURRENT ISSUE

Alexandra DeSanctis Anne Conlon Anne Hendershott Bernadette Patel Brian Caulfield Christopher White Clarke D. Forsythe Colleen O’Hara Connie Marshner David Mills David Poecking David Quinn Diane Moriarty Dr. Donald DeMarco Edward Mechmann Edward Short Ellen Wilson Fielding Fr. Gerald E. Murray George McKenna Helen Alvaré Jacqueline O’Hara Jane Sarah Jason Morgan Joe Bissonnette John Grondelski Kristan Hawkins Madeline Fry Schultz Maria McFadden Maffucci Marvin Olasky Mary Meehan Mary Rose Somarriba Matt Lamb Nat Hentoff Nicholas Frankovich Peter Pavia Rev. George G. Brooks Rev. Paul T. Stallsworth Rev. W. Ross Blackburn Stephen Vincent Tara Jernigan Ursula Hennessey Victor Lee Austin Vincenzina Santoro Wesley J. Smith William Murchison

Shop 7 Weeks Coffee--the Pro-Life Coffee Company!
Support 7 Weeks Coffee AND the Human Life Foundation!
  • Issues
  • Human Life Foundation Blog
  • About Us
  • Free Trial Issue
  • Contact Us
  • Shop
  • Planned Giving
  • Annual Human Life Foundation Dinner

Follow Us On Twitter

Follow @HumanLifeReview

Find Us On Facebook

Human Life Review/Foundation

Search our Website

Contact Information

The Human Life Foundation, Inc.
The Human Life Review
271 Madison Avenue, Room 1005
New York, New York 10016
(212) 685-5210

Copyright (c) The Human Life Foundation.