I would like to ask students the following question: “In the interest of equality, do you think that pilots and passengers should take turns in flying the plane”?  “No,” I would expect them to say, because an untrained passenger would expose everyone on the aircraft to severe injury and possible death. Then, I would add,
“People who are trained to do something, in this respect, are not equal to people who are untrained to do the same thing.”  They would agree, accepting the fact that equality is not an absolute value, especially when life is at stake.  Life is the superior value, not an equality when equality could endanger life. Life is the most treasured value of passengers on a plane.

This fact is brought out again and again in airplane movies.  When trouble arises and a passenger asks, “Is there anyone here who knows how to fly a plane,” the other passengers are duly horrified, since they realize that their lives are in jeopardy.  They would welcome anyone to pilot the plane who had been properly trained.  All this is simply a matter of common sense.

Let us use the airplane scenario as an analogy for another situation, one in which everyone is a passenger, so to speak. Is there such a thing as being trained in life so that, in human relationships, people are sufficiently trained not to expose others to injury and possible death?  The simple, but profound answer is love. 

Society does not issue licenses to certify that a person is trained in morality.  Each person is pretty much on his own in this regard.  Furthermore, each person is at the mercy of a friend or companion who is not trained in love.  Love is an option.  But, more importantly, it is a responsibility.  Love says to another, “I cherish your life and I would do nothing intentionally, to harm you.”  This is not so much an ideal as it is a norm.

The glamor of lust can easily displace the willingness to love.  Lust says to another, “I demand my pleasure and I am not particularly concerned about its consequences that could be extremely harmful to you”.  Lust drives out love.  The passenger flies the plane.  Being trained becomes irrelevant.

In Act1 of Shakespeare’s Hamlet, Polonius advises his daughter that passionate vows are not to be trusted: “I do know, when the blood burns, how prodigal the soul lends the tongue vows.”  Lust will lie to gain its advantage.  This is well known.  The lustful person is self-absorbed and unconcerned about the welfare of the other.  Women, beware!

One of the most disturbing statements I have ever come across was issued by a college student who said that he hoped abortion would remain readily available because he “hated to use the condom.”  We now find many examples reported in the press of men who have little regard for the safety of their partners, as well as the life of their child, demanding abortion and sometimes using force to get their way.  These are men, we might say, who have not been adequately trained in the values of life and love.  Their lust supplants their sense of responsibility.

With regard to sex, men and women are not exactly equal.  For the male, sexual activity is focused on the sexual act.  The female is more highly diversified.  Conception, gestation, birth, and lactation belong to the woman alone.  Hence, the Russian philosopher, Nikolai Berdyaev, states that “In sexual love woman displays a greater talent and genius than man.  It is only in woman that the generic aspect of sex has depth and significance.  Man strives to be free from it on the surface.  The depth of the generic element in sex is, in the case of woman, bound up with motherhood.  Motherhood is a deep and eternal metaphysical principle which is not exclusively connected with child-bearing.  It is the cosmic principle of care and protection against the dangers that threatened life . . .” (The Destiny of Man).

How, then, should men be trained?  They must be taught that woman is profoundly connected with life.  This fact demands great respect and engenders in men a certain humility since, in this regard, women are their superior.  They must understand that lust deprives them of their better selves and threatens to destroy their relationships with all women.  They must learn that glamor is tinsel and is utterly useless for an authentic human existence.  Like the pilot of an airplane, his un-barterable concern is for the safety of others.  Lust makes him a dwarf; love makes him a hero.

The abortion issue is by no means exclusively a woman’s issue.  It is an issue that belongs equally to the man.  The man does not undergo the abortion, yet he is in the picture.  His failure—if he is pushing for the abortion–represents something that is missing in him, namely, his love and his respect for the glory of life.  Love and life tower over lust.  It is disgraceful to think and act otherwise.  The staggering abortion rate would be greatly reduced if men could achieve a more comprehensive and integrated view of the value of love and the glory of life.