Life Stories: My Daughter, Emma
We introduce here a new feature: Life Stories
We asked our readers what they want to see in our pages and several responded: “How about some positive, hopeful stories?” Exposing the culture of death, though necessary, can also cause a heaviness of heart, but we can’t forget the wonderful stories of life and hope that illuminate the culture of life. What better way to begin but with stories of mothers who chose life for their babies? Because the Human Life Foundation, in addition to our educational endeavors, also has a grant program for pregnancy resource centers, we reached out to the life-saving organizations we support.
Our first story is from the Sisters of Life. The Sisters were founded in 1991 by the late, great Cardinal John J. O’Connor, who was a dear friend of the Review from its early days. In 1991, he wrote a column in Catholic New York: “Help Wanted: Sisters of Life,” in which he spoke of his vision for an order that would be devoted to protecting human life, starting with the most vulnerable. And here is what happened, from “Our History” at www. sistersoflife.com:
The article was reprinted across the nation, and to the surprise of the Cardinal, hundreds of letters poured in. On June 1, 1991, eight women gathered in New York to form the new community of the Sisters of Life. Since then, the community has grown to over a hundred Sisters from across the globe: USA, Canada, Australia, New Zealand, Ireland, England, Spain, El Salvador, and the Philippines, and expanded missions from our birth place in New York City, to Denver, CO, Stamford, CT, Philadelphia, PA, Phoenix, AZ, Washington, D.C., and Toronto, Canada.
Our missions include serving women who are vulnerable to abortion, giving them the support and resources to be able to choose life for themselves and their children; hosting weekend retreats; evangelization; outreach to college students; and helping women who have suffered after abortion to encounter the mercy and healing of Jesus Christ.
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The following originally appeared in the Sisters of Life Imprint publication (Fall, 2021) and is reprinted on their website, along with other life-saving accounts. (https://sistersoflife.org/media/stories/ )
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My Daughter, Emma
When I found out I was pregnant, it wasn’t a joyous occasion for me. I was scared to have the baby and scared not to have the baby. If you had asked me a couple of years ago if I was pro-life, I would have said, “Sure.” But when you find yourself in a situation where you could possibly lose your house, lose the ability to feed the three children that you already have—now all of a sudden your morals are really put into question.
But I knew if I didn’t have the baby, I’d be left with shame and regret for the rest of my life. I have had an abortion before; it’s not something I’m proud of. I would often cry about the baby that I lost. I think it was probably out of guilt that I got pregnant again. I was hoping my boyfriend would be happy, because he had told me that he wished we had kept the other baby. But there was also a lot of shame in having a baby, too. I was afraid of how the community would view me.
I asked my boyfriend, “What do you want me to do?” And he kept saying, “It’s your choice.” It just didn’t seem fair. [It was our baby,] but now it was all on my shoulders. I think what I really wanted to hear was, “I’ll be with you every step of the way, no matter what!” I felt that there was no good option, and I didn’t know what to do.
So I made an appointment at the abortion clinic. I begged them to let me take the abortion pills home because I wasn’t 100% sure what I was going to do. I put them in the cupboard, and I would take them out and look at them. I even took them out of the package, and I held them in my hand. But I just couldn’t do it.
I reached out to an online group called “I Regret my Abortion.” A man connected me with the Sisters of Life, who offered that support that I had been looking for. They called me every other day when I was scared and trying to make up my mind. They kept pouring life into me and saying, “You can do this.” But I wanted to know how, because on paper there was no way I was going to be able to afford to have a baby. They just said, “We can’t tell you how—but we know that God provides.”
I took a leap of faith and destroyed the abortion pills. I said, “Welcome to the world, little one. I don’t know how I’m going to feed you; I don’t know how I’m going to keep my house, but God does, and that’s all I need to know.” But in other moments I would think, “What did I just do? I just flushed my life down the toilet.” The anxiety was paralyzing. I still had bills to pay. I was still working 60 hours a week at a factory.
One day, when I was really struggling, I told the Sisters that it was my dream to get out of the factory. It was physically taxing. The Sisters encouraged me to go back to school, so I applied. I just wanted to see if I would get in; I never thought I’d actually go. It seemed impossible with a baby on the way.
Although I was accepted into the program, I continued working at the facto-ry. When September rolled around, I could no longer stand for a 12-hour shift, and so my doctor qualified me for short-term disability. That freed up the time for me to start school. While waiting for my first disability paycheck, I received a scholarship grant just when I needed it. The timing was amazing. I completed my first semester, and then gave birth during my Christmas break. I never would have thought in a million years that things would just fall into place for me like that. I had to get the brakes done on my van, and miraculously I got the exact cost sent to me from a government grant. I was worried that I didn’t have enough baby things. But when the Sisters came to visit me, they had the whole room full of gifts for me and the baby. I was bawling when I saw it. The Catholic ladies in my town did a diaper shower. They figured out how many diapers a child would need from birth and gave them all to me. The community here has really stepped up in so many ways.
There is a woman who would come over and just hold my baby so I could do my school work.
My friend, the one who reached out to me online, was inspired to send me a Bible passage from Hosea: “I will bring her into the wilderness, and speak tenderly to her. And there I will give her her vineyards, and make the Valley of Achor a door of hope” (Hos 2:14-15). That same day, I was speaking to Sr. Mary Grace on the phone, and when I read it out loud there was dead silence, and then Sister said, “That is the Scripture I was praying with this morning.” I always believed God existed, but I never felt His presence until things like this started happening. I was raised going to Church, but I was lukewarm and just did my own thing. So for Him to pour out grace on me . . . Why? Why me? There are really good people out there who didn’t mess up! But it’s just nice to know even when you do mess up, He’s still there; He still loves you. I know now that nothing I can do will make Him love me more or less. If you had asked me last year to write the script of how my year was going to go, I never would have imagined that it would go like this. How does a single woman with three kids at home doing online school recover from a C-section, go to school full-time, and make the Dean’s Honor Roll? I can’t even tell you how! It’s God—that’s it. He’s all-powerful, and He has provided for me. So lately, I have found myself reaching out to other women online who are in the position I was in. I feel privileged to walk beside them.
I don’t know what the future holds for me. I look at my smiling girl, and I can’t imagine life without her. I know that she was meant to be here. God had poured out so many blessings on me because I took that leap of faith. It has inspired me to keep taking leaps of faith.








